Wednesday, May 9, 2012
A piece of my heart for you
Today I'm writing a letter, it may be to you it may not be. I have a few specific people in mind that I am writing this to, but please if it speaks to you, put your name in there!!!
I've been watching you. Creepy huh?? Haha, No, not that kind of watching, the watching that someone who cares deeply about you does. When I look at you, I see all of the wonderful qualities that God has given you. I see the purposes that you could fulfill, if only you believed in yourself. Oh I know people have hurt you over and over and over again. So much so, that their words and the pain have become a part of you, like an outer skin. Remember Spiderman III (I think) where the black suit took over Peter Parkers body....that's the kind of pain and becoming I'm talking about. Where, no matter how hard you try to out run it, to pull it from your body, you eventually give in and it consumes you. You become someone else, trying to pull off this rough exterior, like no one could ever hurt you again. I don't blame you, it totally makes sense, from where you are standing.
But from over here, the place where I am standing, it makes no sense at all and I want to scream out loud "YOU CAN FIGHT THIS!!!!! DON'T GIVE UP, I AM HERE FOR YOU, LET ME HELP!!" But you can't hear me. You pretend to hear me, saying "I know, I know" but I know that it only bounces off that outer shell of who you've become. It pains me to see you hurt like this and it pains me even more to know that there is nothing that I can do for you. That all of my love and words of encouragment just aren't enough. If I could go beat up every person that has ever hurt you, including myself, because I am not without fault, I would do it in a heartbeat, if I thought it would help. It won't, you and I both know it. You put on a brave face and say it's fine, but I know you're heart, because it beats and hurts just like mine. Underneath we are all not so different ya know. Pain is pain and hurt is hurt and it doesn't matter how it's delivered, it all sucks the same.
There is only one thing that will ever make a difference for you. You know what I'm going to say, because I've said it before. I have to say it, it really is all there is. In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth. He created man and woman and they didn't trust Him (much like you and I) and they turned their backs thinking they could do it on their own. They couldn't. Life goes on and years pass by and the earth is full of life, people, animals, problems, enemies and only One Savior. But rarely do His people acknowledge Him.
He decides to send His son, hoping that will make a difference, hoping that His son will win their hearts back, the ones that have turned so cold and hard. It doesn't. To some it does, quite a few actually. Hope is restored and people believe again in the One true God and lives are changed!!!! The lame walk, the blind see, the dead raise from their beds. But for the majority, life goes on in the same, old, tiring fashion.
Years go on, life passes by, generations come and go and here were are today, fighting the same fight that Adam and Eve fought that day in the garden. Trust in someOne bigger or trust in ourselves. Day after day we choose ourselves. We blaze our own trail, do it our own way and how do the days end....pain, heartache, lonliness. We find that we have exhausted ourselves in the trying and yet we still choose to deny Him. If I could grab you by the shoulders and shake this into you I would. But God says no, He will never, ever force Himself on you. I've explained it before, I wouldn't want to force my children to love me, it doesn't feel the same. Don't bother. I want it to be genuine, to come from a deep place of knowing, understanding and pure love for me. So does He. He loves you so much - He sent His one and only Son to live on the earth, to walk the roads that you are walking, to feel the pain and lonliness that you are feeling, to die for you, to cover your sins and offer you a life above the pain. A life with Him. We couldn't put a price on that gift, yet He paid the ultimate price.
I don't want to preach at you, I know you won't listen. I know that this is something bigger than me, bigger than you. It's a work that only He can do. I pray every day that you get to that point quickly and with the least amount of pain. I don't want to see you hurt anymore, but like a parent that has to discipline their children, sometimes God has to let us learn the hard way. Oh how I pray that your way doesn't get much harder. I don't know how much more I can take. Have you ever tried to convice someone of a truth and they just won't listen??? Hello! Okay, well I have said all that I can say and the truth is, you will probably never even read this. But in case you do, I wanted to tell you.
YOU ARE MORE THAN ENOUGH.
YOU ARE LOVED JUST BECAUSE YOU ARE.
YOU DON'T HAVE TO PERFORM FOR OTHER PEOPLE, YOU'LL NEVER SATISFY THEM. (that one really makes me angry to watch you do)
YOU SHOULDN'T CHANGE FOR ANYONE BUT YOURSELF...that is if you're unhappy with you're current situation - only you can make the choice to change it.
I BELIEVE IN YOU AND SO DO ALOT OF OTHER PEOPLE
PLEASE LISTEN TO ME
IF I COULD WALK YOUR ROAD INSTEAD, I WOULD DO IT IN A HEARTBEAT. Does that even matter?
JESUS CHRIST DIED FOR YOU, IF YOU WERE THE ONLY PERSON ON THE EARTH HE WOULD HAVE DONE IT JUST THE SAME!!!!! Do you know that kind of love? Can you fathom it? (remember The Passion movie?)
and I guess last is DON'T GIVE UP - I LOVE YOU. I THINK YOU ARE WORTH IT, I JUST WISH YOU THOUGHT THE SAME OF YOURSELF.
With all of my heart and soul,