Sometimes things get just a bit too heavy to hold. Sometimes in the midst of the hope that you carry, you just become worn out and weary. Sometimes, you have to acknowledge the baggage so that you can lay it down again. Sometimes, we need to empty our hands and our hearts so that they can be filled up again, not with the burdens, but with the Hope of Glory.
My hope is not wavering, my heart is just weary. It's been a tough 2 plus years, the Lord has been beyond faithful and I've not doubt that He will continue to be faithful until the end! But friends, can I be honest with you? I'm tired. I'm tired of running every day, I'm tired of struggling financially. I'm tired of trying to keep my focus on the right things. I'm tired of seeing people I know and love, and frankly, seeing people that I don't know, suffer.
(I pulled over to the side of the road, in case you were wondering)
I'm tired of the politics, the pain, the injustices. I'm tired of the loss, the mourning, the suffering. I'm tired of saying "no" I can't, we can't, you can't. I'm tired........I'm ready for the skies to break open or at least my current situation to break open and for change to come.
At the same time, I am relieved that I do not have to carry the weight of these burdens. I am relieved that I love and serve a God who is in the midst of these situations and who is actively working in them. Even if I cannot see it. He is there. I am relieved that I have the ability to voice my pains and frustrations and that it will all be alright. That God does not judge me based on the things that I cannot carry. I can only carry them so far and then turn them over and He will pick them up and carry them for me. For that I am thankful.
Here's a song from Tenth Avenue North....it's kind of where I am today. If you're feeling worn out, I pray that this lifts you and that the Spirit of God fills you up!!!! Thank you for letting me get this off my heart.
Have a blessed weekend friends!! God bless <3 Lorraine