Between February and October, we had a handful of possible opportunities, none of them panned out in the way that we had hoped. Here is the second time that I wrote about our situation and how God was speaking to me.
October 10, 2011
So about 7 months ago I shared a note regarding my husbands unemployment. 7 months!!!! I can't believe that it's been 7 months. From the moment that he shared the news with me I've been holding on tightly to God, in hope, faith, and trust. I've proclaimed that God will bring the right job at the right time, and I still believe that. But something is beginning to change, has changed in that line of thinking.
Bill has had a handful of interviews, most of which have been typical job positions, meaning, the type that we would expect. They've gone well, he's even had a second interview here and there. But none of them have grown into anything. Disappointing? Yes! Discouraging? No! I've continued to pray and wait for the "right job" that God has. And then he gets a phone call from a source that he did not search out. It was an unexpected call, from an unexpected source. And now a second opportunity for an unexpected position.....it's crazy-weird!!!!
Through my eyes, these job opps. don't make the least bit of sense. From what I can see, there's no way that this could ever work out!! But what I'm beginning to realize is that I've put certain expectations on what I believe God will do or rather should do. I've given Him my list of criteria for what I think He should provide for my family. It's funny to realize that I've been doing this - I really didn't know! It's embarrassing to see it written out in text! But I have to get it out and get rid of the thinking behind it - so I share.
First of all, who am I to tell God what to do?? What right minded Christian would even dare to do that right? Well, I imagine there's a lot of us out there that don't even realize that we are doing it. It has to be in "this location", it must fit between "these hours", it's got to have "this pay scale". If we dont' get "this pay" then "this and that will not be able to take place" He must hold "this job title", we must keep the house, not move, not settle. It has to fit into this block or things will fall apart!!! You get the picture.
Second of all, why on God's green earth would I even want to tell the One that created the green earth what to do? Certainly He's proved His ability to handle things on His own, I mean look around!!! We are surrounded with gifts that are beyond our perception of what perfect is. The sunset, the mountains, the flowers, and His best creation, humankind. The work that He's set forth is flawless. And of course, sin set in and we've been messing up His work ever since!
If I truly believe that God is good, wouldn't that pertain to the times that things don't make any sense to me and my limited view? I want so desperately to see God the way He intends me to see Him, but in order for that to happen, I must allow God to remove the layers of "self" from my being. It hurts, it's ugly, at times, it can be embarrassing. It's most definitely humbling and scarey. But I must remind myself of His truths and promises. I have to check and recheck the things that I claim to believe. I can't keep viewing God in the way that I want to view Him, but I must begin to view Him as the truth that He is.
Some unexpected job opportunities have come up this week. They weren't even close to being on our list, they don't make one bit of earthly sense and maybe this is just an opportunity for Bill and I to change our way of viewing God and go a little deeper in our faith. Whatever the outcome, I know that God is good, He love us more than any other being that He created and the outcome will be beyond what we could have ever dreamed up in our measly little brains. His ways are perfect and why would I want to mess with that??
Prayers are appreciated for discernment, wisdom, trust, and continued growth. I believe that if we get those down, the rest will somewhat fall into place, okay, well maybe not fall into place.....but God will certainly do what He sees fit to do for us...and that is number one on our new list.