How do I.......?

Disclaimer:  I am fully aware that I am being overly dramatic.  I'm not as bad as I am bound to make myself sound in this post.  I am merely dumping my exaggerated feelings here, in this place, where they will stay.  I fully intend to pick myself up and move on.....eventually, but.....for now,

HOW DO I????????

 

 

First let me back up for those of you who aren't currently aware of what is going in my life, which is probably very few of you, considering the only people that I know read this are people that are family or friends in real life or follow me on IG and FB.

 

Saturday we took our daughter, Jessica, of "Tea Tidbits and more", to college.  If you know us, you know that she is my right hand gal, heck we could even go as far to say that she's both of my stinkin hands and my brain!!!!!  She has been such a GINORMOUS help to me and the rest of the family.  It's Monday, it's raining, we're here and she's......there!  Needless to say, I am LOST! 

 



 

 

I can't apologize for that.  I warned you!!  Highly Dramatic!!!!  But still, the stinkin song keeps playing through my mind, over and over and over and over and.....well I think you get the point. I was having a hard enough time this month figuring out what to do with myself without cookies to keep me busy, now I have no cookies and no Jessica!  I seriously could go sit in a corner and rock and be perfectly content.  I won't do it.  The floor is uncomfortable and I'm not a fan of being uncomfortable.  So instead I am giving myself this day, this dreary, cold, rainy, lonely day to "grieve" the separation between myself and my arms and brain.  I'm doing a whole lot of nothing and IDEC!!  (I don't even care - for those of you not up on the text lingo of the younger generations)

 

 

 

On a happier and much less dramatic note, Jessica is doing fabulous (of course, who would've doubted that).  Okay, I was starting to wonder as Friday after Maggie left, tears found their way to Jessica's otherwise dry eyes and it was pretty much over from that point on.  It was an emotional departure. 

 

Maggie - the little girl that Jess babysat and we will continue to babysit!!  #maggiedaysarethebestdays

 

We got her there, un-bunked the beds, unpacked her stuff, did the orientation stuff, president's dinner etc. and then walked her back to her room.  Let's just say that the final "see ya" wasn't at all dramatic.  It was OVERLY dramatic, mostly because of the 10 year old who depends on her big sister even more than I do.  A brother may have shared in the dropping of tears ritual - he shall remain nameless.  We had to pull Julia off of her sister and drag her away.  It was heart wrenching and slightly annoying, because, HELLO??  I'd like to have some room for my tears too!!!!!!!  But I put on my big girl undies and remained the rock for my emotional children, hey it's what we moms do.

 

As you may have seen on IG, these were our "not about to fall apart, we're totally excited" faces. (lies, all lies.)

 

 

So honestly it was a blessing, because I don't really enjoy crying.  It's not a good look and I do like to feel needed, so I guess it was a win win!!  Orientation weekend kept our girl busy, which even though she was dreading it, it did end up to be a blessing.  Turns out that the 9:00 p.m (P stinkin M) kick-ball game was optional!!!  OMGTY!!!!!!  (oh my God, thank you -I don't know if that's a thing, I just made it up, right there!)  She, instead, played bored games, I mean BOARD games and met a few more people. 

 

Joe's elbow on the left, Julia lounged on the bed, Jay was in the chair and there are Jess's little feet!

 

 

From as much as you can grasp through texting, I thought she "sounded" great at the end of the evening.  11:40 PM and she was jumping in the shower and heading to bed!  Sunday morning had the kids rising early and heading to the city for breakfast, praise and worship and a session or two.  She got to meet her roommate and they hit it off.  They did a bit more rearranging of their dorm room and got to know each other better.  Later in the evening she headed off to Wal Mart with some other girls from her hall.  I truly didn't doubt that she would settle quickly and jump right in, it's just who she is.  But I think there's always a little tiny nook in the corner of a mother's heart that harbors such doubts, more like "what ifs" if you will.

 

The Library

 

 

We got to talk to her on the phone yesterday too and I swear she "sounds" like a college student.  I don't know what that sounds like exactly, but after an emotional weekend, it was so good to hear her sound like that! Monday morning Wait!  Today is Monday! THIS morning, she and her roommate "K" went to breakfast with a few other girls and played a game.  Today is the first day of classes, which were delayed due to ice.  I'm anxious to hear how her day went.

 

 

 

I'm getting a new perspective on being a mother.  It's hard not being with her.  Not because I'm a hovering mother, but because I'm used to being with her, to experiencing life with her.  Remember this is the girl who, when taken to Disney with her friends in January, opted to hang out with me and her dad and the friends readily agreed!  So this, it's weird.    I need to be aware of myself and my tendencies to try to be a part of everything.  I realize that I have to let her go.  She needs the space to spread her wings and begin to find her place in this world. 

 

 

Jess and Shelby

 

 

 

I know that she'll share everything with me when she can, so remembering that will be key.  Also, she knows me, so I'm sure that she will give me some room to be a meddling momma here and there.  :)

 

The time goes so quickly friends.  Enjoy every minute you have with your people!!!!  I'll be back later this week with a wrap up of the Alabama trip!!  After that, I have no idea!!  We'll see how this new chapter goes!!  I do have some bedroom pics to share as we are changing and rearranging bedrooms!  So stick around!!! 

 

God Bless

Lorraine

 

What's Love got to do with it?

I've been thinking a lot about love lately.  Not the mushy romantic kind though.  I've been thinking about the selfless, sacrificial kind.  The kind that Jesus gives and asks us to give to others. Agape Love.  Sure it sounds easy enough until you come across someone who seems unworthy of such love.  Suddenly we're very willing to walk away and forget love altogether.  I've recently been watching my children interact with one another and I've come to notice how little of that kind of love is present in my home.  Don't get me wrong, there's a lot of love here, just not the selfless, sacrificial love that Jesus demonstrates.  I find that to be a real problem.  Not only because we are a family who carries the name Jesus Christ as our Lord and Savior, but also because God Himself has asked us (you too) to show that kind of love to the world.  If it's not in our homes, how is it going to be in our world?  Turn on any news channel and you'll see that the exact opposite is happening today, all around our world and our country.  We are all so consumed with our rights and with "justice", with someone "getting what's coming to them".  All of that is the exact opposite of how God asks us to live.

Let's bring it in a little closer shall we, let's get back into our homes and our families, because that is where it has to begin.  We all know families who are hurting and broken. (maybe that's you) Parents and children who are holding onto past wrongs with both hands proclaiming that they get their way or else.  Families who want one thing but do the very thing that drives loved ones away.  Days, months even years of separation and no contact.  You see, if we keep holding on to the worlds ideas on love we will end up empty and alone.  BUT, if we ever could be so bold and so brave to throw that false love out the window and grab on to God's love with both hands, I believe that a radical change would take place inside of our homes, our churches, our communities and even the world!!!

I've had the chance to practice this kind of love with one of my own (note that I said practice - it's hard and I don't always get it right, but I'm trying) and I truly believe that when the time is right and the field has been properly tended to, a new crop will burst forth!  God promises it and I'm holding onto it with both hands.  I can't continue to hold every wrong thing done against me out in front of me like a banner or like its some right I have so that others know I've been wronged.  I don't want to hold things over someone elses head!  There's no reward in that, anywhere!  I have tasted God's grace and forgiveness and I want to give it to others!!  It is way more satisfying.....even when it isn't given in return.

This kind of love requires a complete trust and faith in Jesus.  Without that, this kind of love cannot be attained.  So, you may need to start there! How?  Well, first you admit that you are a sinner, that you need a Savior!  You acknowledge that Jesus Christ came to earth, died a gruesome death for you and for I.  He rose from the grave three days later and now sits at the right hand of His Father; God. His death on the cross represents the payment for our sins, payment that we could never pay!  Now because of the cross we have a chance at eternal life with Jesus Christ!!! At that point, search out other Christians, a church that teaches the TRUTH!  Dive in and get to know Him.  He's worth it!!

 If you've got that or are working toward that - great!  Let's continue!  I want to look at two verses that come to mind when thinking about Jesus' love.  The first is:

1 Peter 4:8

Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.

I've grown up hearing that verse.  I don't know that I knew it was scripture for a long time but it still made sense to me.  I always thought of it in that mushy, romantic love that I mentioned earlier.  But now that I'm older I realize that that's not the kind of love that it's referring to at all!!  The love that I am capable of clearly demonstrates it's lack of sin covering all of the time!  I'm prone to hold accounts of wrongs, to stand my ground and demand my rights, remain unmovable until I get my way.  But this love, this Agape love, Jesus' love.....is an entirely different story!  Let's look at another verse that breaks it down a bit more!

1 Corinthians 13 * Otherwise known as the Love Chapter starting at verse number four:

⁴ Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. ⁵ It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. ⁶ Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. ⁷ It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

⁸ Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. ⁹ For we know in part and we prophesy in part, ¹⁰ but when completeness comes, what is in part disappears. ¹¹ When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me. ¹² For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.

¹³ And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love. (bold added)

I think that about covers it!  Patient......willing to wait.  No room for pride.  No dishonoring others, no self-seeking, not easily angered (yikes), it keeps no records of wrongs!  None?  How about a few, the most recent ones?  No?  Okay.  I think we have some work to do friends.

If we want to see a revolution here on earth, in our hearts and in our homes, we must be sooooooo crazy that we are willing to lay everything that we think we know aside and jump on board with this kind of Love!

I want to leave you with a portion of my devotional this morning.  It comes from the book My Utmost for His Highest from Oswald Chambers.  September 2 the last paragraph says this, "He who believes in Me....out of his heart will flow rivers of living water" -and hundreds of other lives will be continually refreshed.  Now is the time for us to break "the flask" of our lives, to stop seeking our own satisfaction, and to pour out our lives before Him.  Our Lord is asking who of us will do it for Him?"

Another book that highly recommend on the subject of crazy love is by Francis Chan and its called "Crazy Love".

Who will be so bold, so brave and so crazy with me?  Who is willing to lay themselves down and pour all that God has given them out to those around them?  I do hope and pray that you will join me!  I promise the journey, the struggle, and even the pain will be worth it!!

God bless!  Lorraine

Here we go again.....

It's been so long since I've been here, that I didn't even remember how to get here!!!  That's sad.  I do love to share my world with whomever is reading but I just can't seem to manage it on a consistent basis. 

After recovering from pneumonia in mid October, life came at me at a pretty quick pace.  In November, my mom had pneumonia and it landed her in the hospital, thank God it was only overnight but still.  In December we found out that my Aunt Joan was very sick and one week after hearing the diagnosis, she went home to be with the Lord.  Dev.A.Stated.  I still haven't wrapped my mind around the fact that she is no longer here on earth with us.  There are so many times that I jut want to pick up the phone and call her.  This took place during Christmas, so needless to say, the holidays were a bit of a struggle.

I feel like January went by without a hitch, I celebrated my 42nd birthday -woohoo!  February came and brought with it some type of stomach bug that went through all six of us, one day at a time.  We also brought home a sweet little yellow lab which we named Mahoney (After Molly Mahoney from Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium).  Our older lab's name is Molly <3  Corny, I know.  Our number three child turned 14 on Valentine's Day and because of that sickness we had to reschedule his birthday!!!  Lord willing it will happen this weekend!!

We had a few medical scares with my other two aunts but praise God, nothing came of it and they are fine.  My mom was in the ER last week for an extremely high blood pressure and heart rate -but all tests have come back fine.  This Tuesday I was in the ER.  I had been having some tightness in my chest and some tingling in my arms.  Another praise, my heart is fine, but I'm still left feeling very anxious and somewhat panicky.  If you know me, you know that that is not me.  I am a calm person and trust God with pretty much everything.

However, today, as far as we know is my hubby's last day of work.  His two year contract is up today and thus far nothing has been resolved to keep him there.  Not for lack of trying, mind you.  His boss has been very diligent in trying to get an extention or get him hired full time, but it seems that that this is not an emergency to anyone else in that company.  So, I am attributing these feelings to the fact that we are staring unemployment square in the eye once again.  Except this time there is no severence package to hold us over.

We've been three  years without benefits, no paid days off, no medical insurance and with four children in the house, that has me shaken up.  I continue to give it to God, knowing and trusting that He is in control.  But its hard as the momma to these precious little people to know that our ability to afford proper medical care is pretty much nonexistent.

So I come today, not to complain or dump, but to simply put the needs out there for any of you who read this and will pray.  We serve a mighty God and I've no doubt that He will continue to carry us.  I don't know what the outcome of this physical anxiety will be, but I'm trusting that He will work that out as well.  Along with the emergency room bill that is sure to be astronomical.

I have thoroughly enjoyed all of the snow that we've gotten this winter, but now it's March and it's time Spring got her groove on and made an appearance!!!!  Praying all has been well with you!!  Until next time -whenever that will be!!

God Bless - Lorraine

My Physical Therapy - Part Two

Hey welcome back!!!!  I was really hopeful through the week that I would feel good enough to shower, get dressed and fixed up and make it youth group.  That didn't happen.  Then I was excited at the thought of getting dressed up on Friday and maybe heading out with my man to do some birthday shopping (see this post).  I have been going mentally crazy thinking about Target and how long it's been since I've been there and I had myself all built up for this incredible night of feeling like a member of the functioning human race, getting out of the house, spending time with the hubs and doing a little shopping.  But as it's been for weeks now, my body doesn't match my mind and I was too tired and empty to make any of that happen. I am trying sooooooo hard to rest and rest in Him.  Trusting in His plan even in this time of sickness and recovery isn't very easy. 

Well that's enough about me, you came to see the house so here's the family room (aka the room in which I spend all of my waking hours).

 

This is my keeping it real shot!!  Julia is laying on the couch because she's not feeling well.  There are things all over the ottomans/tray, but hey, this is life!!!  This at least gives you the set up of the room.  The couch is a little big to be in this position, but I like that it's facing the fireplace and it makes the space feel nice and cozy!!  Some day I'd love to remove the panel and paint.  It's a dark,  errr warm room and I'd love to see how much bigger it feels to brighten it up a bit!!

I was previously using this spool as an end table and since there isn't much room on either end of the couch for a table, I would have either had to pack it away orrrrrr get creative!! 

 

This fireplace is ginormous!!  On one hand it's great, because I can decorate it like crazy.  On the other hand, I don't know how to keep it simple.  Which would be fine except that I'm really craving simplicity. 

I tried a few different configurations and over the course of  a few weeks, I stripped it all down again and took a completely different approach.  I always shop the house first!  I happen to have a small door and few wooden boxes and drawers at my disposal.  I like the old books, it adds fall color and some height to display my jar of mini gourds and pumpkins.  (they're not real so I can use them year after year)

I kept the yellow candle stick from my summer mantle and thought it'd be a great perch for a fun faux pumpkin!!  I added an old camera for some fun and few fall fabric balls that I made years ago.  On the right side, I used a few birch rounds (from our birch trees in the back yard), a frame from summer that I picked up from Hobby Lobby, and an old berry crate.  There's also a little fall garland that I made with string and scrapbook paper and a glue stick.  Easy Peasy!

 

The bushel basket of pinecones and birch logs have been here all summer and I just added a small chalkboard with a seasonal quote "Autumn is a second spring" (where every leaf is a flower).  I decided to stack my old kettles, which I should have emptied first, right Jessica? :)  I also added an old mustard shutter to the back to break up the old brick and just add another layer of interest.

 

On the other side of the fireplace, I decided to bring down a few of my picnic baskets.  I love the red plaid one, it conjurs up all kinds of fun images of great fall picnics under beautiful maple trees bursting with color, warm wool blankets and hot apple cider in a thermos!!  Like the little one on top!  I'm still getting gorgeous roses in the garden and figured I'd better take advantage of that gift before they're done. 

 

Once the roses started to wilt and die, we resused them for a wonderful foot soak!!  Julia had the idea of letting me soak my feet and relax. She's such a sweetheart!!

 

We added some fresh lavendar too.  I soaked for a long time and my feet felt wonderul afterward!!  This is something that I'm going to have to do more regularly!!

 

I haven't done anything to speak of in the kitchen, most of it's a mess honestly.  It's the most used room in the house, so I have to catch it in its rare state of spotless!! lol  So this may or may not be the end of the fall tour.  We'll have to see!!   I'm taking each moment as it comes and can't make any plans. 

 

I hope you've enjoyed the small tour.  I pray that your home is a place of warmth and comfort as we head into the cooler seasons (cooler, ha!  It's 82 degrees here today)  Have a blessed week!!

 

<3 Lorraine

 

 

My Physical Therapy

We've already established that I've completely missed the month of September and I've been stuck on the couch doing nothing.  If you know me, you know that that doesn't fly for very long at all.  Eventually I'm gonna crack and have to CHANGE something!!  I love decorating my home for fall and I was so afraid that I was going to miss the opportunity entirely!!  Not happy.  I had my kids bring down my fall boxes from the attic and I vowed to go through little by little and take my time.  I figured that it would be good physical therapy and decorational therapy (is that even a word?)!!  It would get my creativity flowing and also get my muscles moving.  So, although I didn't get to link up with any of the amazing fall home tours, I decided to do one of my own.  Come on in and have a look around!! 

Welcome to our home!!  I haven't done anything on the front step besides hanging this wreath.  I don't really feel like dealing with spiders and cobwebs but hey, if we did celebrate Halloween, I could consider my front step finished!

I am keeping it rrrreal simple in the foyer.  I moved out my small table and mirror that used to occupy this corner and instead just went with my old basket hanger and a few signs of the season.  Don't mind my purse hanging there, feel free to hang yours there as well, or maybe your sweater!!

 

This little cabinet joined the foyer a few months ago.  The girls had it in there room for a long time and it housed Julia's little knick-knacks.  In a simplifying effort by Jessica, I ended up with it!  SCORE!!  One day I think I will end up painting the inset portion of the door with chalkboard paint.  It's a cute place to leave little notes for guests or just sweet reminders for us as we pass by this way throughout the day.

 

The inside isn't very fun but it is functional.  Instead of a drawer full of spare keys and sunglasses, they now reside here!  All of the spare keys are in the little brown crock.  I want to hang a few hooks in here to rest our functional keys on, but we'll see. 

 

Off to your right is our dining room.  I can always feel God's presence in this room in the way the light streams across the table and the hutch, in the two large windows that lead to a beautiful view of the fields and trees across the street, so colorful this time of year.

 

I am on a constant quest for simplicity in my home.  I have a lot of furniture and even more things to decorate with and after a while it starts getting to me.  I love everything that I have and it's hard to know what to get rid of, so that usually keeps me from truly moving forward.  But I started the simplifying process in the foyer and dining room and I hope that I can continue that throughout the house.

 

Come back to see the family room, and prayerfully the rest of the downstairs space.  Like I said I'm taking this slow, so it may be Christmas before we finish here!!  Kidding!!!  It better not take that long.  My patience is wearing thin already!!  

 

Have a blessed weekend!!  Thanks for stopping by!!  See you next time!!

 

<3 Lorraine

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Great Disappearing Act

So I've been sick with pneumonia for the month of September, yes the month!  I feel so much better than I did when this started but now I'm left with exhaustion, weakness and the repeating question "Are you coming?".  Like most people, my September comes in like an explosion, full of activities, celebrations and just a busy daily life.  So you can see, the timing is all off!!!  Not that there really would be a better time to get sick.  Maybe winter, to nestle into the couch with a comfy blanket and a box of tissues doesn't sound as bad as it does in September!!  Birthdays have come and gone, first soccer games (and several after) have come and gone, kick offs have been executed and enjoyed.  A lot of life is lived in September. Memories have been made and people are probably still talking about the Fall Kick-Off Nacho Bowl!  I, however, have missed them all.  Not easy.

However, here are a few of the memories that I have made in the month of September, all was not lost!!! haha!!

I can now say that I have watched television for four weeks straight!!  Never have I ever been able to say that! Ha! Me and Netflix are tight!! Let's see, I've watched four out of five seasons of "My Fair Wedding" with David Tutera, several seasons of "Kitchen Nightmares" with Gordon Ramsey, more movies than I can list or remember, including "Safe Haven" and "October Baby".  Needless to say, I needed tissues!!!

at least I had a window to look out of

I got in a good ab workout in the first few weeks due to the lovely tight chested hacking I did!  I believe I dropped a few lbs as well!!  I wore a comfy rut in my couch from being there for 10 plus hours each day.  I'm so glad it's a comfy couch!!!

I have played a few rounds of Monopoly Millionare (and won once) with my girls and then again with my boys and then with one of my girls and one of my boys!

Jaysen and Julia

 

Jessica and Julia

 

I spent some time outside and even got in a little walk around the yard last week.  A HUGE refresher for me!!

My parents came over in the beginning and brought me a "sick basket"!  What's that you may ask?  Well when my kiddos were smallish, I would make them up a basket of supplies when they were sick on the couch, it would include tissues (if the sickness required them), snacks, a juice cup, books to read, coloring books & crayons, small toys to play and of course it was wrapped with all the love and prayers for a quick healing that I could give.  They loved it. 

my sick basket

There is nothing worse (well, there is but for the sake of the story, go with me, m'kay?) than being alone and sick on the couch while the rest of your family happily lives out their days.  Talking, playing, laughing, etc.  A sick basket makes the sickee feel special when they are confined to such torture!!  So it was a very happy surprise to see my momma bring in that basket o' goodies!!  Magazines, tissues, Vicks Vapor Rub, cough drops, chicken noodle soup, snacks and more!

Let's see, what else..............well, I wrestled a bit, a lot actually.  I wrestled with the fact that I had to miss out on so many great activities.  On the one side of that was the sadness that I wouldn't be a part of those events, on the other side was the guilt of having to back out of responsibilities.  That was tough!!  I take my responsibilties very seriously and I don't like telling people No or that I can't uphold my end of things.  Although I am very aware of the fact that I had a perfectly good reason and no one would even second guess or question my reason, it is foreign to me to back out of something that I commit too.  There were eight events that I had to sit out of (and that was just the first TWO weeks)!!  Plus three out of my five children celebrated birthdays, well, there wasn't much of a celebration.  They pretty much came and went.  That was probably the hardest. It was really, really, really, really hard.

After getting antibiotics and a strong cough syrup, I wrestled with being forced to stop and just be still.  I don't do that well either :/  My friends and family are now laughing out loud (aren't you??)  I don't know how many people lovingly said something to the affect of "Well, I guess God had to slow you down somehow!"  I know they meant well, and I'm not saying that they aren't right, but honestly, I don't want, or rather I didn't want to hear that.  I'm out there doing good, why would He want me to stop??!! It made no sense to me!

would love love love to renovate this some day

I still haven't wrapped my head around that one, but I do know when He says REST, I will rest.  I was asked the question the other day, "Are you just resting or are you resting IN HIM?"  There is a very large difference and I'm sad to say that I've barely just rested and I don't think I've even come close (maybe a tiny bit) to resting in Him.  I believe that He knew it would be a struggle and that resting in Him may not even come until I am well on my way.  There are a lot of layers that He has to dig through in order to get to the raw places of my heart and mind. 

If you are anything like me, you know that there is a lot of work to be done and by golly, I have to do it and do all of it.  We (can I include you in this so that I don't feel like I'm just picking on myself?  I can? Thanks) WE tend to think that we are the only ones in the world that can do our jobs and seriously, if anyone else even dared to try to do our jobs, surely they wouldn't do it as well!!  Right?  So with that reality alone, there was a lot that I had to wrestle with in order to come to terms and admit that that is a stupid thought!!!  Do we truly believe that God can only use US?  Who would admit that?  Not m.....well, yes, I am admitting that. 

We Americans tend to wave our "busyness" high over our heads like a banner.  Like the busier we are, the more holy and righteous we are.  What silliness.  It couldn't be further from the truth.  The busier we are (even if its with holy things) the further away from God we can become.  In fact, we then become our own god, proclaiming "Look at all that I can accomplish!!"  and when people compliment us on that fact, our heads just swell up even more and more space develops in the chasm between us and our Father.  It's sad.  I can picture God sitting there, sighing and shaking His head while He patiently waits for us to have a lightbulb moment.

I'm glad that He will allow things to pop up, at the most inopportune times, to get our attention.  He has mine.  He didn't get it easily, that's for sure.  But He has it now.  Another thing that I've learned is that I tend to do everything because of what I think someone's expectations of me are.  That doesn't leave any room for true downtime or for saying NO.  Whether there is a tangible reason or just the pure need to say "no, I can't", I will typically push through, no matter what I'm feeling or needing, and just do it.  You asked, you need me, I must comply.

At this point in the sickness, I believe the pneumonia is gone.  I still have a cough, it's nothing really compared to the beginning, and I'm really, really tired.  I can hold a conversation easily enough and I'm not lethargic on the couch, so I appear fine.  It is expected that I would have returned to my "duties" by now.  But I haven't.  After receiving much wise counsel from others, I know that I need to take this really slowly.  I can't rush back just because I feel a big difference from when this started.  I don't want to end up back on the couch. 

Bill managed to snag the seat next to me
 on the couch once or twice

To continue telling my husband that I'm missing yet another weekend of soccer games is really, really hard. To see my 9 year olds face fall when I tell her I'm staying home is really, really hard.  The expectation that I will be there is great and rightfully so. Guilt is pounding at my door and I can't let it in.  Ugh, that's hard.....I'm sure you know how hard it is, or maybe you still fling the door wide open when guilt comes a knockin'.  Either way, we are all familiar with the power of guilt and condemnation.

Romans 8:1 says, "Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus,"  Hmmmmm that's interesting!  I have been so tempted to just suck it up and push through, it's what I do.  It's what my husband does.  Standing up against that is a challenge.  But if I proclaim to know the truth and believe the truth, then I am required to follow the truth and not the lies.

There are a ton of lies that I believe and yet at the same time I say that I believe the Truth.  I can't have it both ways, I must choose who I will serve.  Boy am I thankful for His Grace!!!  He knows.  HE. KNOWS.  And He loves me anyway.  That is a beautiful truth!  One that I am desperately holding onto.

I don't know when I'll be back to regular life.  I don't know if this downtime will result in my saying NO to things more often, or if I will just be more mindful of times of rest, not merely rest, but rest in HIM.  I am taking each day and moment as it comes.  I know that I am getting better each and every day.  Thank you to those of you who have checked in on me and have faithfully prayed for me and for my family.  I can't imagine what things would be like over here if it weren't for my family.  Jessica, specifically.  She has gone above and beyond that of a 16, oooh sorry, SEVENTEEN year old would do.  She has cooked and cleaned and homeschooled her siblings for me along with carrying her own college workload and other resonsibilities.  My parents, husband and children are truly a blessing to me.  They continue to do what is needed and I know that I can always count on them.

I am going to try to put "me" first a little bit more.  I want time to blog regularly (its a committment that I made and I want to keep it), I want time to read, to spend time with friends and family, I want to Rest in Him, each and every moment of the day.  I want to say NO to guilt and condemnation and I don't want to believe the lies any longer.  I am a daughter of the King and that means that there is no place for the father of lies in my head, my heart or my home.

I would love, love, LOVE to hear from you!!  Please tell me how you've enjoyed the first month of fall!!  I want to hear about how you decorated your homes for the season, the events that you've been a part of, the experience of the sipping the first Pumpkin Spice Cappucino, all of it!  I promise not to get jealous, but I will sing praise and thanksgiving for the gifts that He's given you and me in the month of September!!

Be blessed <3 Lorraine

Mid Summer Check In

Happy July!!!!  I can't believe how quickly summer is flying by!!!  Sadly I've only made it into our pool once!!  ONCE??!!  That's awful.  We've had tons of other things going on around here though.  Jessica and I have been on a decorating kick.  My mantel has been driving me nuts ever since we moved in.  The family room in general is dull and dark and it's hard creating a fun mantel when all of your supplies are dark and drab too :/

I woke up one Monday knowing that it was the day to hit Hobby Lobby.  It felt right in my soul, it was to be the day of the deal.  I would come home with great finds and spend little cash, and as a result have the perfect mantel...full of color and fun!!!

The kids were game and we were off!!!  We hit an 80% off sale and the cart was packed (they're small, it doesn't take much).  We had just rounded the first corner of the store and suddenly the lights went out!!!!!  Uuuuuuuuummmmmmm.  The employees asked for all of the customers to head to the front of the store until they could determine what the problem was.  I'm thinking "crap, I better not lose my stuff"!!  Next a fire alarm starts ringing throughout the store and we are asked to leave the store!!!  Leave. The. Store.  Buuuut, my stuff???  What about my stuff??

I hesitantly left my cart by the front of the store and promised to return to it before long.  Those delicious items would find a new home with me no matter what!!!!!!  Luckily there was another crazy customer who felt the same exact way that I did!!!  So, what did we do???  Well, we did what any devoted, task driven, sale lovin', sane minded customer would do.......we sat on the sidewalk and waited!!!  I'm totally not kidding!!!!

 

There we are....waiting it out!!  It took the better part of two hours, we deterred many an eager customer and had to break a LOT of hobby lobby hearts.  It was sad, but we had no choice.  I wish I would have taken a picture of my friend, Gale.  She's the crazy customer that waited it out with us.  She was a blast!!  We hit it off and I think she easily could have been my aunt.  She would have fit right in!!!

 

So, the lights came on and we headed back in.  Customer Satisfaction was top priority and we all went home with our beloved treasures!!!!  Some of the employees joked about us sitting out there for so long and said they would make us "I survived the Hobby Lobby Blackout" t-shirts!!  I would totally wear one...no lie!!

 

 

Well we made it home and had fun setting things up and decorating.  I'm sure the mantle will change every other week!  In fact, I've already added something new to it!!

 

 

I'm sorry that the pictures are small. Apparently I have a crappy phone camera and they're all fuzzy when I enlarge them. I picked up the "Grace" print at 50% off!!! The turquoise orb, the yellow flower pot, yellow metal candle stick and the small plate.  The yellow star was previously natural wood colored and I hit that with some spray paint.  The cabinet door and window frame were pieces that I already had.  They may be getting a makeover someday soon. 

 

 

I also grabbed a fun yellow pillow.  It was on clearance for $4.00!!!! FOUR DOLLARS FOR A THROW PILLOW!!!!!!! I should have bought more!!! Jessica grabbed a few fun pillows (that I don't have any pictures of) and a fun bicycle print for $2.00!! We are both glad that we sat it out and the day turned out to be a success!!!! 

 

 

More recently we hit Michaels and Jessica got a few fun frames for her bedroom and is currently working on a fun, colorful photo/frame collage for Julia's side of the room!!! 

 

 

 

"Whatever" print from http://megduerksen.typepad.com/

 

I've already changed the mantel a bit.  Things don't stay the same around here for very long, in case you haven't picked up on that yet!!

 

"Nest" print also from http://megduerksen.typepad.com/

 

I found the white frame at Wal-Mart, although it wasn't white when I bought it.  I took a can of white spray paint and liked it much better!  Well, that's it for now!!  I have to run some friends home and head to youth group!!!

 

Hope you're staying dry and cool and having a great summer!!!!  I'll check back in soon and fill you in on my cookie progress!!!

Happy Summer and God Bless
<3 Lorraine

 

 



What's been going on?

Things are starting to slow down around here.....a tiny. little. bit!!  I thought I'd take a few quick moments to catch you up on what's been going on around here!!!!  The last time I stopped by it was April, I had needed a break and had some big things on the horizon....you can read about that here!!

So, May:

I decorated my first (and probably only) barn wedding!!  It was a blast!! It was scarey!!  It was a personal challenge, trusting in the abilities that God has given me and the encouragement that I got from friends and family.  There were many times that I wanted to quit and run away (which is my "panic button")  But....I didn't do that, I pushed through and it was amazing!!!!

photo courtesy of Satta Photography

 



I wish that I could share all of the pictures with you, because it was such a great wedding!!  All of the details matched the bride and groom perfectly and the photographer did an incredible job at capturing it all!!! I could probably do a post just on his photography, his shots were unbelievable and magical!!  Make sure you check out his website, one word of caution...he's based out of Thailand!!  But he does visit the states and I believe he's planning a trip back here in the fall!!  Check out his facebook page here!! {tell him I sent ya!!!}

After the wedding came Jessica's GED test...which she passed and is now a High School Graduate!!!  At age 16, I might add!!!  She's done her first year at community college and is well on her way to achieving the goals that she has set before herself!!  We are very proud of her, to say the least!! 

Two weeks after the wedding, I was on to our Youth Group Girls Retreat!!  It's another decorating opportunity for me, plus (and way more importantly) a chance to really pour some Jesus into these teens that our youth team work with!!  The theme was "Obsessed" and it was based off of a six week bible study book by Hayley Dimarco.  We tackled the things in life that we tend to be obsessed with and then wrapped it up by looking at what it looks like to be Obsessed with God.  It was an incredible weekend!!

 

"Are you ready to unpack your Obsessions?" This is where girls could come and write down things they were ready to let go of; things that were taking over the space where God is supposed to be.

We hid a large ping-pong table behind that burlap and bookcase :)

Just a few areas that I get to decorate!

 

Sunday morning we wrap up with a sunrise service on the beach!! We are up at 4:45 and out the door by 5:00.  It's an incredible way to spend a morning after digging deep all weekend.  To sit on the empty beach, anticpate the rising sun, and hear the crashing of the waves is a very humbling experience.  It's definitely the highlight of the weekend.

 

The Ladies Tea was next on the schedule and it was a blast!!!!  The ladies had shown me this picture at the last tea and said "THIS IS WHAT WE WANT YOU TO MAKE US!!!!"  Okay, maybe they weren't that demanding, but I wasn't about to let this group of ladies down!!

 

 

So this is what they got!!!!  

 

I went with the zebra print with hot pink, because, well, why the heck not!!??  They are such a sweet and fun group of women and this ministry is something that I'm so honored to be a part of!!!  Next tea.....The Mad Hatters Tea Party!!!!  Should be fun!!

 

I've had a few cookie orders mixed in between and a few more to come!!  I've done Thomas the Train, Princess, Birthday (hat, gift, cupcake) and I have a rehearsal dinner and a pirate party coming up!!  You can check out my facebook page here.  I don't know where this will go, but I'm enjoying it for where it is right now!!

 

We've officially wrapped up our homeschooling for the summer!  Joe is off on a mission trip this weekend, Jaysen heads to camp in July, Julia turns 9 and I will be at camp in August as the craft lady and a teacher, while Jessica takes care of the camp store and Joe camps that week!  We're hoping to have our pool cleared up soon and I'm looking forward to a lot of lazy days at the pool!!!

 

Life in between these events have been sweet with a little taste of this and that.....here a few pics!!  Okay, so I was going to give you a few more pics, but blogger isn't cooperating!  And maybe it's best anyway.....you might be sick of pictures, who knows?  Bill and I got away for a quick weekend escape!! We went to a B & B in Havre de Grace, MD and it was a much needed break and rest!!  The flowers have been blooming diligently and whenever we have a second, we are out there cutting them and making beautiful arrangements to enjoy!

 

I've had to fight looking at my summer as being over before it begins .  We always have one major event in each month and I tend to glaze over and miss the in between times.  The backward bucket lists have really been a help for me in that area and I'm sure I'll do another one throughout the summer.  If you want to check them out, you can do that  here and here!!

 

What have you been up to and what's on your bucket list??  Do you have a summer bucket list?

 

God Bless <3 Lorraine