How do I.......?

Disclaimer:  I am fully aware that I am being overly dramatic.  I'm not as bad as I am bound to make myself sound in this post.  I am merely dumping my exaggerated feelings here, in this place, where they will stay.  I fully intend to pick myself up and move on.....eventually, but.....for now,

HOW DO I????????

 

 

First let me back up for those of you who aren't currently aware of what is going in my life, which is probably very few of you, considering the only people that I know read this are people that are family or friends in real life or follow me on IG and FB.

 

Saturday we took our daughter, Jessica, of "Tea Tidbits and more", to college.  If you know us, you know that she is my right hand gal, heck we could even go as far to say that she's both of my stinkin hands and my brain!!!!!  She has been such a GINORMOUS help to me and the rest of the family.  It's Monday, it's raining, we're here and she's......there!  Needless to say, I am LOST! 

 



 

 

I can't apologize for that.  I warned you!!  Highly Dramatic!!!!  But still, the stinkin song keeps playing through my mind, over and over and over and over and.....well I think you get the point. I was having a hard enough time this month figuring out what to do with myself without cookies to keep me busy, now I have no cookies and no Jessica!  I seriously could go sit in a corner and rock and be perfectly content.  I won't do it.  The floor is uncomfortable and I'm not a fan of being uncomfortable.  So instead I am giving myself this day, this dreary, cold, rainy, lonely day to "grieve" the separation between myself and my arms and brain.  I'm doing a whole lot of nothing and IDEC!!  (I don't even care - for those of you not up on the text lingo of the younger generations)

 

 

 

On a happier and much less dramatic note, Jessica is doing fabulous (of course, who would've doubted that).  Okay, I was starting to wonder as Friday after Maggie left, tears found their way to Jessica's otherwise dry eyes and it was pretty much over from that point on.  It was an emotional departure. 

 

Maggie - the little girl that Jess babysat and we will continue to babysit!!  #maggiedaysarethebestdays

 

We got her there, un-bunked the beds, unpacked her stuff, did the orientation stuff, president's dinner etc. and then walked her back to her room.  Let's just say that the final "see ya" wasn't at all dramatic.  It was OVERLY dramatic, mostly because of the 10 year old who depends on her big sister even more than I do.  A brother may have shared in the dropping of tears ritual - he shall remain nameless.  We had to pull Julia off of her sister and drag her away.  It was heart wrenching and slightly annoying, because, HELLO??  I'd like to have some room for my tears too!!!!!!!  But I put on my big girl undies and remained the rock for my emotional children, hey it's what we moms do.

 

As you may have seen on IG, these were our "not about to fall apart, we're totally excited" faces. (lies, all lies.)

 

 

So honestly it was a blessing, because I don't really enjoy crying.  It's not a good look and I do like to feel needed, so I guess it was a win win!!  Orientation weekend kept our girl busy, which even though she was dreading it, it did end up to be a blessing.  Turns out that the 9:00 p.m (P stinkin M) kick-ball game was optional!!!  OMGTY!!!!!!  (oh my God, thank you -I don't know if that's a thing, I just made it up, right there!)  She, instead, played bored games, I mean BOARD games and met a few more people. 

 

Joe's elbow on the left, Julia lounged on the bed, Jay was in the chair and there are Jess's little feet!

 

 

From as much as you can grasp through texting, I thought she "sounded" great at the end of the evening.  11:40 PM and she was jumping in the shower and heading to bed!  Sunday morning had the kids rising early and heading to the city for breakfast, praise and worship and a session or two.  She got to meet her roommate and they hit it off.  They did a bit more rearranging of their dorm room and got to know each other better.  Later in the evening she headed off to Wal Mart with some other girls from her hall.  I truly didn't doubt that she would settle quickly and jump right in, it's just who she is.  But I think there's always a little tiny nook in the corner of a mother's heart that harbors such doubts, more like "what ifs" if you will.

 

The Library

 

 

We got to talk to her on the phone yesterday too and I swear she "sounds" like a college student.  I don't know what that sounds like exactly, but after an emotional weekend, it was so good to hear her sound like that! Monday morning Wait!  Today is Monday! THIS morning, she and her roommate "K" went to breakfast with a few other girls and played a game.  Today is the first day of classes, which were delayed due to ice.  I'm anxious to hear how her day went.

 

 

 

I'm getting a new perspective on being a mother.  It's hard not being with her.  Not because I'm a hovering mother, but because I'm used to being with her, to experiencing life with her.  Remember this is the girl who, when taken to Disney with her friends in January, opted to hang out with me and her dad and the friends readily agreed!  So this, it's weird.    I need to be aware of myself and my tendencies to try to be a part of everything.  I realize that I have to let her go.  She needs the space to spread her wings and begin to find her place in this world. 

 

 

Jess and Shelby

 

 

 

I know that she'll share everything with me when she can, so remembering that will be key.  Also, she knows me, so I'm sure that she will give me some room to be a meddling momma here and there.  :)

 

The time goes so quickly friends.  Enjoy every minute you have with your people!!!!  I'll be back later this week with a wrap up of the Alabama trip!!  After that, I have no idea!!  We'll see how this new chapter goes!!  I do have some bedroom pics to share as we are changing and rearranging bedrooms!  So stick around!!! 

 

God Bless

Lorraine

 

Updated Spring Semester Resolutions

The spring semester is about 1/4th of the way done, if I had to guess, and it's still goin'. It's been a little rough, I've struggled a little bit with the work load, but, nevertheless, I'm still goin' as well. So, I thought that I would give you guys an updated look at my Spring Semester Resolutions.

1. Finish Season 1 of Alias

Season one is completed, and now we're onto season two. In the past two days, I've watched 11 episodes of Alias. I'm not sure whether I should be proud, or ashamed, of this fact. This is what my everyday looks like...

 

See... I'm still getting my school stuff done!! ....right??

 

2. Order Pictures from Shutterfly.com and Smash!

I did it! I really did it!! I have to admit, I didn't think I would... but I took advantage of Shutterfly's 101 free prints and bought 87 prints for the price of $5 for shipping! Yay! So far I've only smashed 3 pages, but that's a victory for me... here's a little sneak peak!

 

 

 

 

The picture quality isn't the best... but you get the point!

 

3. Save Money

Eeeehhhh.... enough said.

 

4. Work on Conciously Managing Time Spent on School Work and Recreation 

I haven't done too bad... as you can see in the above picture I seem to be effectively watching Alias and reading history books... that's good! But, this is a work in progress... I can't cross this off until the end of the semester!

 

5. Blog Atleast 2x a Week

I would say that this one has been successful... wouldn't you?? You tell me... success, or not??

 

~ Jessica

 

 

 



Technology is Stupid!

I was trying to think about what to blog today, and instead of me coming up with an idea... it was given to me! But first, a little back story. For my history class I need this book by, preferably, Thursday. However, I found the book super cheap but it wasn't supposed to be in until the 21st. Now, with USPS tracking, it's highly easy to find out exactly where your package is at that exact moment... and I love it! I love to be able to know everything.

I told God that I was going to trust Him with getting my book on time, however, I was faithfully checking the USPS tracking. In fact, I was probably being more faithful to the tracking information than I was to praying about it. So, in my panic stricken mood yesterday I thought through all of the options of how to get my book on time, or find another book to buy on time, etc. I prayed about the best way to go about acquiring my book, and then I said "Lord, I'm just going to have to trust you with this, in fact, in order to show how much I trust you, I'm not going to check the tracking service."

Of course, I immediately went into a frenzy, "Jessica, what are you saying? You have this technology at your fingertips, there is no reason you shouldn't check it." But how often do we say we trust God without actually giving up something or really taking a step of faith, as small as mine might have been? The answer is rarely ever. We say, "Lord, I trust you. In fact, I trust you so much because I just looked at where the package is and it already made it to Philly!" No, we need to trust God.

People now-a-days don't rely on God because technology can fix our problems. We don't trust God because we know all of the details ahead of time. Continuing with the story, I got home today and checked the mailbox... guess what was waiting for me! Mmmmhmmm....

I was banking on the "reliability" of technology, the same technology that told me the book would arrive on the 21st. After that, I relied on God, the God that told me my book would come on time if I just trusted Him. I want to encourage you to trust God and take a step of faith, step away from the "reliability" of technology and step towards the real reliability of Christ.

~Jessica

Thoughts from the Day

After being homeschooled for the last 8ish years of my life, I'm starting to realize how fast a week, or even a day can fly by. Right now I'm waiting for my algebra class to start and I've decided to jot down some thoughts. The old feelings that I used to have when I went to highschool are coming back. I'm starting to think "Hey, I've sat in a classroom for the last 4-5 hours, what have I accomplished?" I know that I'm working towards an associate's degree by the age of 18, but sometimes it's hard to wait. Although, for me, something that isn't so hard, is being satisfied with where I am. Whenever I start to feel stuck or like I'm doing nothing productive, I look to where I'm going and I look to who I'm going through life with. A Chris Tomlin song says this: "and if my God is for me, then who can ever stop me." The song reminds me that waiting and feelings of a mundane life can't stop me from living the life he has for me.

I just want to encourage you all to look towards your future with God. Even if you can't envision anything beyond where you are now, know that what you see as mundane, God sees as overflowing with potential. Be satisfied in Him.

~Jessica

Back to School, Back to Work

So......... I totally planned on posting a book review, a day-in-the-life post, or something fun like that. But my first day back to college was yesterday, and I'm already slightly swarmed with school work. Between teaching Joe and college I'm busy!

The day before I went back to college I decided to look at Joe's history schedule and rethink it. He isn't enjoying school very much and that doesn't make me happy. So the day before school started I decided to pull apart Joe's curriculum and pretty much make a new one within the guidelines of Sonlight. That was fun... No, really, it was! Hopefully I can keep up with it, though.

If you guys remember my Spring Semester Resolutions you'll remember that I wanted to work on my time management, that's gonna be interesting this semester. However, I'm loving getting back into the swing of school work and learning. It's exciting! So today has mostly been spent doing school stuff, which is fine. I'm trying to get done as much as possible today so that I can use the weekend to relax a bit, blog, and just dilly-dally.

I know this is a really lame blog post, and I contemplated not even posting it.... But I think I'm going to... I promise to have something better next time...

~ Jessica

Spring Semester Resolutions

In less than a week I'll be sitting in a college classroom listening to a professor talk about English Composition. Yay! However, I'm not really upset or annoyed that my winter break is over. I finished a lot of things that were on my Winter Break Resolutions list, so I'm happy about that. I thought that I would come back with a Spring Semester Resolutions list. The list doesn't have as time-consuming things as my winter break post did because I figured that a good amount of my time will be spent on school work. So, without further ado....

Spring Semester Resolutions

I wish my college campus looked like this...

 

1. Finish Season 1 of

 

Yes, yes I know... It's sort of ridiculous. I started watching the show a few weeks ago and I'm hooked.If you've never seen Alias, I highly urge you to watch it. It's on Netflix right now... so hurry!

 

2. Order Pictures from Shutterfly.com & Smash!

 

I bought myself a Smash Book for Christmas and I can't wait to start! If you've never heard of Smash Book look here. I'm hoping to use it as a scrapbook, so you might see some updates soon!

 

3. Save Money!

It's pretty self-explanatory. After Christmas and a couple of online "shopping sprees" I've had, I really need to save more of my money. However, that doesn't include this weekend when I'm going out shopping. :)

 

4. Work on Consciously Managing Time Spent on School Work and Recreation

Ehhhhh... that's a long title. I talked more about my struggle with time management here. Take a look!

 

5. Blog Atleast 2 Times a Week

 

I've been on a consistent blogging schedule and I like it! It's worked really well and I feel good about it. I'd like to keep this up as the semester starts and school work starts to make an appearance in my life.

 

That's it for now... thanks for reading! I'll be checking in again on Tuesday, my last day before school starts!

~Jessica

 



The Lorax

A few nights ago I was babysitting the kids and we were trying the find a movie to watch, when we came upon The Lorax. We hadn't seen the movie before and decided to try it out. I loved it!! It was awesome. In fact, I felt like I got a whole lot out of the movie. It had a really good message!

If you haven't seen the movie... take a look

 

 

I wanted to share some quick thoughts and quotes from the movie that have stuck with me. The movie is set in a futuristic world. One with no real plants or trees, lots of electronics, and much more. However, one boy wishes to find and plant a real tree to win over the love of his life, Audrey. So a lot of the movie has to do with how the world/city got where it is.

 

When the Once-ler is cutting down trees to make his new product, The Lorax, a creature that was put in charge of protecting the forest, says this to him, "A tree falls the way it leans. Be careful which way you lean." I felt like this quote held a lot of meaning. When we put our trust in something, and we rely on that thing, we'll eventually fall on it. If we put our trust in clothing, when we are met with turmoil and other things of the sort, we'll fall back on it. But will it save us? No! We need to put our trust in, and we need to lean on, the one that will save us.

 

Like many of you know, I've been reading LiveLifeOnPurpose by Claude Hickman. A lot of it has to do with becoming who God wants you to be and aligning your life with God's plans. So these next to quotes really have stuck with me as it is closely related to what I've been reading.

 

"It's not about what is is,

it's about what it can become."

 

When we look ahead, not to what we'll most likely become, but to what we can become, that's what really matters and can make a difference. I've faced so much trouble with getting in to college, everything from not having a photo ID and not being allowed to take the entry test because of it to having my birth date entered into the computer as February 2, 9000. But, I've also been given a lot of help as well, I've received a scholarship for the past two semesters that covered the majority of the cost and I've received grant money for my books. But despite any troubles that came, I looked to who I could be in Christ Jesus. And that was all of the motivation I needed to continue pushing ahead.

 

"Only if someone like you cares a whole awful lot,

nothing is going to get better... it's not."

 

When you become aware of some of Earth's most troubling thoughts, you probably feel overwhelmed. When looking at the results of prostitution in developing countries, child labor, lack of food, water, etc. It's easy to feel like you can't make a difference. But let me tell you, you can. Nobody can make a difference unless they care. This may sound like a plug, but it isn't, one of the ways that you can care and make a difference is through Compassion International or any other child sponsorship program. It can help prevent all of the worries that come with living in a developing country.

 

So whether you get anything out of this random post or not, I hope you can take one of these quotes and think on it.  

 

Jessica

 

Oh My Word!

With all this talk about a "word of the year" and such I've felt a little bit out of the loop. So I decided that I need to get my game together and find a word of the year. It actually came a little easier than I had expected. My mom's word has been "simplify" and as a result of that we've been cleaning out everything. My room has been completely taken apart and put back together, the closet has been emptied and tidied, our dining room is in limbo as we are preparing for a yard sale that we're having this weekend.

Because my room was completely taken apart the aftermath has been lingering for the past week. I still have some piles of things to go through, some wall decor to hang up, and other things of the sort. In order to cope with that, I've come up with my own little "get 'er done" project. Did I really just say that? Anyway, like I was saying, in order to cope with the little things that still need to get done, I've started writing down my own daily resolutions. I mentioned this in my previous blog. I know that some people pick resolutions for the year, but I need something a little bit more short term.

What does this have to do with my word? Well I was thinking and decided on the word Resolution or Resolve. I haven't quite decided which one... it just depends what looks nicer in a journal or on my wall. Resolutions have been on my mind lately and they've probably been on yours as well. Maybe you're in the crowd that prefers "dream", "hope", or "goal". I, however, am much more practical and know that if I set a goal or dream it has a much higher probability of not getting done. I am not okay with that. When I want something to get done, it has to get done.

Resolution has a sort of punch to it, it weighs heavier than a dream. When you resolve to do something, dictionary.com says that you "come to a definite or earnest decision about" something. Let me give you a little example... take a look at this picture

 

When you look at this do you think "wow, this guy is serious"? What if we just changed a few words... "Hope To I would like to live for God and if no one else does, I'll still try." It doesn't have the same punch, does it? Resolve holds a heavier meaning and it seems to convey some sort of consequence. 

 

One of the things that I've been wanting to strive towards this year is time management. I like to think that I'm a pretty good manager of my time, I always make sure that school works comes before most anything else. But that seems to be the problem, I want to learn to play the bass guitar, I want to play the piano, I want to read books, and watch movies. But I get myself too caught up in cleaning my room, doing my school work, and things that are much more practical. So I resolve to make time for fun things.

 

 

One of the fun things that I have been doing for the past month is a Disney movie night every month. In honor of my Disney Senior Trip, which keeps getting pushed back, my friends and I have been having a movie night every month, with a different theme each month. Last month, since it was December, we decided to watch The Santa Clause 1&2 and we ate some fun Christmasy foods.... Cookies? It's been a great way for me to let go of any school worries and just have fun, that's something that I struggle with... having fun, I know, weird!

 

 Take some time to think about what you resolve to do this year, maybe you need to sit down and make a list of things you resolve to do every day. Find something that works for you!

 

Happy Thursday!

 

~Jessica 

Winter Break Resolutions Part 2

Hey guys - I just wanted to post a little update on my winter break! If you didn't read my Winter Break Resolutions list... you can do so here! I've completed half of the list and I still have 16 days left. Wait... What??? 17 days!

Anyway, I've reorganized my room as a part of my mother's simplify spree. It was on my list before the simplify frenzy started, but it still counts! We've created a "play corner" for Julia and all of her stuff... ehhhh.... toys. We've also gotten rid of some furniture in the room, cleaned off the bookshelves, moved some dressers, and all of that fun stuff. The closet was semi-cleaned out... not ass well as I would have liked, but pretty well.

I looked over Joe's school schedule and planned some fun movies and other things that will go along with the lessons. Speaking of which, homeschool started back up yesterday! To be honest, I haven't really been looking forward to it. It's just some structure to the day, which I've been enjoying not having. The two things left on the list are 1) Finish LiveLifeOnPurpose and write a review and 2) Get my GED. Numero Uno is making progress... numero dos is still yet to be scheduled.

As far as Winter Break Resolutions go, I admit I sort of lied to you guys. It wasn't so much lying... more of not telling the whole truth. While I've wanted to do all of these things there were many more resolutions/hopes floating around in my head. Well.... one big one. I wanted to be able to lay around and watch movies... maybe just for one day. But with all of these other, bigger, much more important (???) resolutions written on paper, that one sort of got pushed to the side.

So... maybe I'll have some Spring Semester Resolutions coming up. In fact, I sort of like the thought of making resolutions for each chunk of my life. Instead of a resolution for 2013, I'll have a resolution for each semester, maybe even each month. Actually, I've started making resolutions for each day, it might be a bit excessive but.... eh. The past couple of days I've written resolutions on a post-it note at night and when I wake up, it'll be waiting for me in the morning. It's been a good way for me to make sure I do what I want to get done every day instead of wasting my day playing games, or sitting around.

I'd like to keep you guys updated on these resolutions, maybe some book reviews, something about homeschool, my new semester in school, I don't know. If you have any suggestions on things you'd like to read about my day or life or room or anything let me know in the comments! I really have no good way to end this, I don't even know if any of this made sense. But.....yeah.

P.S. Maybe you could leave some good blog-post-ending ideas in the comments too....

~Jessica

Power & Presence

My two classes on campus at college consist of World Regional Geography and Intro to Sociology. As I continue to study the description of the Earth and the way humans react in social situations I'm becoming more and more aware that the world doesn't revolve around me, or any humans for that matter. We don't know everything, we're not in charge. As much as we like to think that we can effect the world and as much as we like to worry about who's "in charge" there's not really anything to worry about. God's in charge. God's the one that uses US to change the world. We can't use GOD to change the world.

The mere presence of God in creation is becoming more and more real to me. Not only his creations and his art, but also his power. If the Earth, in all it's sinfulness, can construct hurricanes, tornadoes, and blizzards that are powerful enough to rip whole villages out of the ground and turn beauty into a wreck, how much more powerful is God? He can turn a wreck into beauty. Not only can God take an emptiness and turn it into the beautiful Earth we have, but The Holy Spirit can take the emptiness in a heart, or the gross stuff in our lives and turn it into something that will glorify him.

- Jessica

What's in my bag? (School Edition)

Hey guys - as you may know I started college a week or two ago and thought it was a GREAT reason to buy a new bag!! Also, I had a gift card from my birthday, so I justified it. I thought I would post a little "What's in my bag?" post today! I always love to look at things like this and get good ideas about what kinds of bags hold the most, how to organize my bag, and just to be nosey! So, without further ado, here it goes!

This is the bag that I bought off of Amazon.com for my school stuff! It's made by Roxy and comes in 2 different patterns! Go see the bag here. I really like this bag and it holds everything I need really well. It has three pockets in the front and then one big pocket, tote style. You'll see all that later, though.

 

Here's a picture of the front three pockets, you can see that they're really big and deep pockets, which is nice.

 

The first picture here shows the first front pocket and then the second picture shows everything, yes it's a lot, that I keep in there. I keep some post-it-notes, tabs, binderclips & paperclips, and tons of pens. I keep so many pens with me because I color code my planner, but in actuality I only use black, blue, and sometimes purple when I'm at college. Next, you can see the middle pocket, which is slightly wider than the other two. In there I keep my glasses case & wipe, my umbrella (I do have to walk from one building to the next), tissues, white out, and more post-it-notes that don't belong in that pocket! haha My phone typically resides in this pocket as well.

 

The last pocket I keep a water bottle. The first day of college I didn't bring a water bottle and I was sorry! I like to bring this little guy from Target, I believe, it holds 10 oz. of water I think... don't quote me on that. It's the perfect amount of water and it slips right into the pocket!

 

Inside of my bag I keep all of my books plus my wallet. A lot of times I feel like the bags going to break from all of my books, but so far it hasn't. My only complaint about the bag is the fact that there isn't a base on the bottom of it. It's all cloth and therefore doesn't provide any stability for your books. Anyway, you can see in the top right picture that I have The Help (for a report), my planner, notebook, sociology book, geography book, and a folder.

 

The planner I use is also from target and it's from bluesky. Now, I haven't been able to find the planner on Target's website and when we bought it it was the only one there. This one is similar, just a different color! So, I don't know whether or not they still sell it. The planner, is a really nice list-like-format. I'm really enjoying it. I keep a notebook that I got from target in my bag as well (can you tell where we went shopping?) and a folder. My notebook has three different sections that I take notes in and in my folder I keep all of my handouts and extra blank paper.

 

Thanks for 'tuning in'! It's not too fancy but I found a system that works for me! If you have any questions let me know and I'll attempt to answer them!

 

~Jessica