More to Be Mentoring Monday - Week 4

Hey gatherers!!!  How was your weekend??  I spent mine with about 80 people, the majority of whom were junior and senior high students!!  It was our yearly Winter Retreat and we headed up to the mountains for a time of deeper learning, crazy fun, sleepless nights and an awesome time making new friends and bonding with old ones!!  I am exhausted but it was so worth the time and effort! What a privilege and honor it is to work with the leaders that I work along side of and to hang out and pour into these students who truly want more of God in their lives!  What a beautiful environment for mentoring!!

So as I took a few minutes to look over last weeks homework, I was reminded that mentoring is like a relay race, where you pass the baton from one runner to the next.  We older, "wiser" women (and men) have a glorious responsibility to run our race well and pass on what we've gleaned to the next generation!  I'm thrilled that God has me in this place of youth ministry at this time in my life and I'm doubly glad that I have the opportunity to learn a bit more about biblical mentoring through this study and group with Elisa Pulliam!

It is crucial to make sure that we are explicity following Christ in our lives in order to be the mentors that He has called us to be!  I've always been an encourager and I thrive on moments that I get to do this but this study is beginning to change the way I look at mentoring.  It's giving me a bigger picture and its making me want to do a better job.  Some of what we covered last week has to do with the acrostic "M- E- N- T- O- R- I- N- G".

M- eeting:  This covers prayer, time, place, format, purpose, boundaries and permission; being prayerful about entering a mentoring relationship, praying before and after the times spent with your mentoree.  It's crucial to remember that this mentoring responsibility is not about us but God; when we prayerfully consider the role of a mentor, we must be mindful that it is not in our power that we are able to encourage and influence, but it's God's power through us that allows this to even be possible. 

E- ncouraging:  This tackles the Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman.  It's important to understand how your mentoree recieves love and how you give it!  I personally love to give words of affirmation and also give gifts....this is key in how I will be able to relate to the person(s) that God puts in my life for mentoring purposes.  It also covers the need to encourage biblically.  Looking at Philippians 4:8-9 covers what we should be thinking on and talking about and 1 Cornthians 13 gives us the biblical floor plan of how to love those we mentor.

N- oticing:  Paying attention to more than the words that are spoken, digging deeper, beyond the surface to the heart of the matter and learning to read those God entrusts to us is all essential to being a good biblical mentor.  This can be a challenge in todays fast paced life...most of us don't have time to even notice if our clothes match let alone what someone's body language may be saying.  A challenge?  For sure!  Impossible?  Not a all!  Important?  Absolutely!!  Anniversaries, Birthdays, other important dates, their overall appearance, little things they say and much more can lead us to a spring full of information that once uncovered can lead to a beautiful story of healing and recovery.  Slow Down & Pay Attention!!

T- eaching:  This speaks for itself, although I can't just leave it here alone!!  We looked at Titus 2 3-5 for instruction on the best way to be a teacher!  I love The Message version of this verse....you can find it here!!!  Continue reading beyond verse 5!!  What a great and plain way to put it!!  In this catagory we also looked at what our skills may be and how we can effectively teach these skills to the people that we mentor.  I love how God is able to use every part of us for His glory!!  From the pain and brokenness to the skills and gifts that He's given us, we are a well spring of opportunity if we make ourselves available!!

This week we will cover the rest of the acronym as we dig deeper into what biblical mentoring looks like!!  I'm curious, have you ever been mentored or mentored others?  Let me know!!! 

God Bless <3 Lorraine

More to Be Mentoring Mondays - Week Three

I don't know about you, but it seems, for me, that as soon as I start something to honor God, the enemy rushes in with all sorts of attacks and plenty of ammunition!!  The last two weeks we've tackled excuses and I honestly didn't think that I held onto any.  Boy was I wrong!!  These excuses aren't just related to mentoring, but they seem to spill over into many different areas of my life!!

That can be a very daunting thought to ponder.  It can be difficult to move past those excuses, after all, they do give off the impression that you're completely stuck and incapable of moving forward in any direction.  Praise God that HE offers us a truth for every lie that hangs over our head!

I think that one of the biggest things I've learned from the beginning of this study is to continue moving forward even if you believe that you can't!!  Just go ahead and take that first step and then another one!  Then tell someone of the struggle and trust that they will cheer you on and provide Grace along the way!

It's alot like learning how to walk!  You try and try again until you gain skill and momentum.  Then eventually you are stringing several steps together and find that you are walking on your own!!  Sure, you are going to fall and stumble and convince yourself that you have no right to even try....and that is why you need someone on your side, so they can help pick you up and dust you off and set you back on your way!!

Funny how a study on biblical mentoring can provide assistance for other problem areas in your life!  I suppose that when you set out to work for God, He's going to do whatever it takes to get you completed for the entire task and not just one small part.He's good like that and I'm so glad that He is!!

I am completely encouraged by this weeks reading assignment!!  I need to keep a watchful eye on how I live my life and conduct myself, using Titus 2:3-5 as a guide:

 "Likewise, teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live, not to be slanderers or addicted to much wine,but to teach what is good. Then they can urge the younger women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God."

It's exciting to look forward to mentoring opportunities so that I can help pass along Gods' love and instruction to the next generation of women!!  If I don't keep my focus on Him, the whole thing can be completely overwhelming.  I must remember Philippians 4:13, which, by the way, is my favorite verse!!  It says:

"I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength."

That pretty much eliminates any justification of excuses that we may holding on to!!  Are you ready to let go of the baggage and cling to the truth?  I'll do it with you and we can help each other!!

Join me again on Wednesday for more talk on Grace...I didn't realize that it was as big of a struggle as it is!!  Stop back tomorrow too, for a word from Jess!!

God Bless <3 Lorraine

More to Be Mentoring Monday - week two

I can't believe that another Monday has rolled around~where does the time go??  I have to be honest here, I am not staying on top of this study as I had hoped to, and I'm really wrestling with that!  Elisa has been amazing at encouraging us to just do what we can and not worry about time constraints and keeping up with the schedule!  Now I have to just accept that grace and let it go!!  I couldn't sleep last Wednesday night and decided to get up and read my four chapters and answer as many questions as I could at midnight!!  Yeah, that's where I'm at these days!!!

So let's get to it!!!  Last week we read chapters 5 - 9 and looked at...dun dun dunnnnnn.....EXCUSES!!!!  gasp!!  I don't have any of those!!!!!!  ha.ha.ha.ha.  I loved chapter fives title..."What Did He Say?"  We all know where our excuses come from, but we tend to hold onto them dearly anyway!!  John 8:44 clarifies this truth:

".....the devil...He was a murderer from the beginning.  He has always hated the truth, because there is no truth in him.  When he lies, it is consistent with his character; for he is a liar and the father of lies."

 

Hmmm, that's pretty clear huh?  So if we know this to be true, why are we not getting it?  As Elisa puts it, "The enemy simply looks at our lives, notes our weaknesses and fears, and offers up an excuse filled with half truth, half lie."  You can go back to Genesis 3:1 to see what this looks like, but I'm pretty sure that you are familiar with his ways!!  We explored what our main excuses for not mentoring were and a Mental Makeover Download was offered.  It looks pretty good, but I haven't had opportunity to work it out.....I have an excuse reason for that!! lol

 

In the next chapter we looked at the excuse of feeling like a hypocrite!!  Certainly, I have no business telling others how to live....look at my past!!!  While it is true that we must use wisdom in sharing our story, it may not be the right time or audience, our story does not disqualify us or make us a hypocrite!  There are plenty of other excuses that we come up with for not sharing our lives with others.....fear of being exposed and judged or even the current circumstance we may find ourselves in can hinder us from moving forward in freedom.

 

I love what Romans 8:28 tells us:

 

"And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them."

 

My past has enabled me to walk a path that has had many bumps and bruises, trials and pain, and though I could certainly look at it and feel sorry for myself and say that I can't share that with others, God tells me otherwise!  As I have continued to give Him my life, pains and mistakes, He works them together for my good and His glory!!!  I can stand on the other side of that chasm and say "Look what God has done in my life!!!"  I can sing His praises because I've experienced His gifts first hand.  We even looked at the Saul/Paul conversion.  Paul was a Christian killer before He met God on the road to Damascus.....God didn't send him back to right his wrongs....rather he transformed him right where he met him and sent him FORWARD!!  Paul was equipped because of God, because God took his past and worked it together for Paul's good and God's glory!!!!

 

Doesn't that make your heart want to sing??  I know it does mine!!  It gives all of the pain and struggle a purpose and that somehow makes the past okay.

 

Not my gift, too young, not wise.....these are some of the other very popular excuses that we come up with for not doing what God wants us to do.   I am amazed at how many people think that young people have no business leading, training and guiding!!  I am part of a large youth ministry team and we have leaders that range from 21 to 40+ years!  We would be missing a HUGE gift if we excluded our 21 year old!!  I really don't think that age has anything to do with anything!  Now here's the key, to anyone mentoring really, you must be sure that you are influencing others according to the word!!

 

James 1:5 wipes the excuse of not being wise right off the board!!!

 

"If you need wisdom, ask our generous God, and he will give it to you.  He will not rebuke you for asking."

 

Ummmm, yeah.  Enough said!!  Let me add this though, just in case you need a little more :)  As we grow in our relationship with God, praying, reading the work, working out His commands, He equips us to go mentor others with no fear or excuses.  No more excuses!!!  Oh wait, there's another one......"it's not my gift".....

 

While it is completely true that God gifts us all differently, I don't believe that gives us permission to not work on other areas that aren't our strong gift!  God wants us to stretch beyond what is comfortable, to go and reach into places that we didn't dare dream of reaching!!  He will equip us if we are willing to go....and honestly, He doesn't need you or me....if we are unwilling to move, He will find someone who is willing.  That doesn't settle well in my spirit....I want to be obedient, even if it is uncomfortable.  We must remember that we are created in His image, He equips us for the job that He has for us to do.  We only need to trust and be obedient!!

 

I love that Elisa makes this very simple to understand.  She says "To Biblically mentor simply means to live life, woman to woman, generation to generation, sharing what we are learning and passing it on to others.  It is not a complicated, intricate process.  It is simply about embracing and living out Paul's instructions in Philippians 4:

 

"And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing.  Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable.  Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise.  Keep putting into practice all you learned and received from me--everything that you heard from me and saw me doing.  Then the God of peace will be with you."

 

So there ya have it....no more excuses!  They won't work, there's no truth behind them!!  If we are thinking on the lies that the enemy feeds us, then we are not obeying God's words in Philippians.  Every time that we entertain an excuse or lie from the enemy we are being disobedient to Christ!  I'm not digging that a whole lot!!!  You must know that to fix your mind on things above takes practice and work...the enemy will fight harder as you fight harder to lean in on God, so you must be ready for the battle friends.

 

Clothe yourself with truth, with the armor of God and get yourself a big old team of warriors that will help keep you on track!!!  It's time to put the enemy in his place and march forward in the freedom that Jesus died on the cross to give us!!  It's there for the taking, we just need to get tired of eating scraps so that we can dust ourselves off and go to the Banquet!!!

 

 

*Jess is up tomorrow and I'll be back on Wednesday to talk a little more about Grace <3

 

Take care and God Bless <3 Lorraine



More to Be Mentoring Monday - Week One

Part of this mentoring study is following along in the book, "Impact my Life" by Elisa Pulliam.  Over the course of the past week I looked at chapters one through four as we sought to simplify biblical mentoring.

As Elisa says, it all begins with a story.Your journey of faith is just the story to move you forward into the role of mentoring.  It's important to chronical not only your salvation experience, but also how God has strenghened your faith throughout your relationship with Him.

In chapter two we looked at discipleship in the context of biblical mentoring.  By using scripture, Elisa put together a few principles for biblical mentorship, engaging in an active, personal relationship with Jesus Christ, believing that He died on the cross for the forgiveness of my sins. (Romans 10:9-10), seeking to learn the Word, apply it to life and follow the leading of the Holy Spirit. (Hebrews 4:12, 2 Timothy 3:16) and demonstrating an active committment to the body of Christ by attending church, serving by using my gifts and talents, and coming under the authority of a pastor and elders.

Agreeing with these statements is critical to being a biblical mentor.  Moving on we thought about someone who had mentored us in the past and how we specifically learned from that person.  My mentor, Kathleen, was a beautiful friend and lover of Jesus.  We did life together and with a few others we studied the word, prayed faithfully and grew together in the Lord.

Kathleen opened my heart and eyes to sides of Jesus that I hadn't considered before. I truly attribute the woman that I am today to the love, friendship and teaching of my mentor.

Chapter three revealed several ways to be a mentor and to be mentored.  There were certain avenues that I hadn't considered before.  It encourages me to think that God uses very creative ways to allow mentorship to take place. 

In the last chapter for the week, Elisa uncovered the truth about the qualifications for biblical mentorship. The first is from 2 Timothy 3:16-17, being committed to the Word and seeking to live it out daily.  The second is taken from Titus 2:3-5, being open to Gods leading in revealing which people in your life are in need of biblical mentoring.

It quiets my soul to know that God is the only qualifier to mentoring and that as long as I am actively pursuing Him, following His leading and pointing others back to Him, I am a qualified mentor!!

The facebook group is full of tips and encouragement as 70+ women from around the world come together to seek out how to be the mentors that God calls us to be!!

It's not too late to join in!!  Just click the button to the right of the page for information on how to get started!!  Let me know if you decide to join in the fun!!

Until next time, God bless <3
Lorraine

 

More to Be Mentoring Mondays!!

I am super excited to be joining up with More to Be's Mentoring Training & Study!!  Oh, wait, you don't know what I'm talking about?  Of course you don't, I'm sorry, let me tell you a little about "More to Be".  Well actually, I'll let them tell you who and what they are......just go here to read about them!!

The team there is offering a six week study on the topic of mentoring....head over here to read more about the study and find out how you can participate!!

As you may know, I am a vounteer youth leader at my church.  Currently I am involved in helping to develop a Student Leadership program along with our youth leader, Emily, and fellow volunteer, Erika.  We all have been talking for a long time about the importance of mentoring and have learned that mentoring is not a program that can be put in place, rather a series of opportunities to be involved in intentional relationships with the youth that we care for.  Right now, I see the leadership program as a pretty good way to start some intentional mentoring relationships with these kids, but I would love a little more information or training on how to be the best, most effective mentor that I can be.

I am also currently a mentor for our Mothers of Preschoolers program at church and after several years of attending as a mother, serving as a Creative Activities Leader and Coordinator for several years, I am proud to have graduated out and into this mentoring role!  I'm looking forward to how this study with impact my role as a mentor to these mothers! 

To be honest, I just have a heart for loving and encouraging others through my prayers, words and actions and I see this as a very important step in ensuring that I am doing all that I can do!  If you have ladies in your life, whether young or old, that you would like to impact and mentor, please check out this opportunity!!

Every Monday for the next six weeks you will find my thoughts and insights into that weeks study topic!!  Please feel free to leave a comment here and start a conversation on the topic.  You can also find "More to Be" on facebook, here!!  Make sure to check out their blog as well, they have a ton of resources, most of which, I believe, are free downloads!

I am really looking forward to this and I hope that you might consider joining me on this awesome adventure!!

God Bless <3 Lorraine